Monday.

[lupercusna]

I realise that it may be bad form for me to write here, as I am not in fact a Malfoy. However, I find myself with some spare time on my hands, and this is decidedly more constructive than anything else I might be doing, such as piercing a body part, hexing the pigeons that delight in defecating on my shop windows, or running for Parliament. So, here I am.

Aside from wrongful house-elf death, and bloody Quidditch matches, it's very quiet around here. I've a new spider living amongst the periodicals, he is brown and orange and answers to the name of Jerome. If anyone has misplaced their spider, see me.

I had lentil soup today for lunch. It's especially good when you have fresh bread for dipping. The wine was a 1786 Winsome Laughing, which was a very good year indeed. A bit dry, though.

I think there is a leak in the ceiling. I ought to have Gavin have a look at it.

And, since I am not currently drunk and babbling incoherently or pretending I have enough of a soul to wax philosophical and wave an ugly cane about, I'd best sign off. Things to do, people to see, books to dust.

Cheers.

Comments

[lupercusna]

You paint me to be such a lecherous sort, my dear boy. I ought to be offended.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

You aren't for a second though, are you? No.

You sound tired.

[lupercusna]

Not really. Have you seen his arse? I'm only human, contrary to popular belief.

I am very tired. I have been for a while now, I think. Just very, very tired.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

You are that. If life were fair, there would be scores of young men carrying you around in a sedan chair.

You are doing everything that they told you to do, aren't you? Sure you're getting enough air? I wouldn't want anything to happen to you. I would be quite put out.

[lupercusna]

Do not tease an old werewolf, you fiend. Obviously I need to work on my Occlumency, if you've been peering into my dreams.

I'm fine, Pomfrey II. I eat all my vegetables and mind my manners and all that rubbish. I'm stronger than I look, and it'd take something a lot more than this to bring me down.

How are you holding up?

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

Everyone has that dream, Mr. Lupin.

That's the old spirit. I knew I could goad it out of you.

Better? Though even to say that seems like a betrayal. Confused, at the least. How much information is too much? I'm just not sure if some things need to be told or don't really matter.

[lupercusna]

Mr Lupin? Give me a break.

A betrayal? I don't think I follow you, can you be a little less obtuse?

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

It doesn't seem fair to feel better when he isn't going to get any better, I suppose. There are just, things I don't really do anymore.

And I just don't know when the truth is good and when it's unnecessary. So I'm confused.

[lupercusna]

Well, you learn to move on. You can't fault yourself to live when someone else has stopped. They would not want that, because you are their immortality.

Of course, there is a point when there's only so far you can keep going on to. Even I have to admit that, because truth is invaluable. Truth is always invaluable

I've had enough lies for one lifetime, myself.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

Well, but I am. That is, I already was. And I feel pretty horrid about that. Things were going to be messy and now they are just messy in my head. And maybe because of that, I shouldn't move on at all, but that isn't fair either. None of this is fair. Which, I know, life isn't fair, but still.

Sorry. My head is spinning. No lies, but is the truth really that good?

[lupercusna]

Ah.

You didn't know what was going to happen, Seamus. You didn't know it would end up this way. Anything you wanted to do before is as legitimate as it was before all this. Charlie would have wanted you to be honest with him, and yourself, and you do no-one no favours by allowing yourself to feel guilty for wanting to continue on as you were before.

If it would make you feel any better, go and speak with Charlie. He may not answer, but he'll hear you.

All right?

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

Well, not really, but yes. As much as can be I expect.

When I was with him, I mean, he isn't there, is he? It was eerie. They said he likes receiving owl posts, though.

Thank you. Seems I'm always thanking you for something.