No matter where you go, there you are.

[lupercusna]

Madam Pince insisted on taking back the library today, perhaps so that she can harass the seventh-years one last time, so I have enjoyed a very lazy morning waking up with the sun but having a lie-in until Sirius had to get up and go give exams. After that it was a cup of tea on the stove and - for no reason at all - the guitar Lily had got me for when we left school. Somehow I've managed to hold on to it all these years, it goes with me wherever I go. I'm completely crap at it, terribly rusty, but it was nice to sit and play a bit. I still remember the old airs she taught me when we were still students, lullabies she sang to Harry when he was small. I swear, I can hear Lily's voice in the strings on this old guitar.

I have gone on a bit about James here but not so much about Lily. She was my friend first, truth be told, and she was my friend last before she died. Sirius and James weren't speaking to me by then, convinced I'd gone traitor on them, but Lily had faith. I don't know why she believed in me but she did, and I didn't question it. We took tea together on the sly, when James and Sirius were off trying to save the world. Those were good mornings of yellow sunlight in her kitchen and camomile tea, and the daffodils she insisted on always keeping in a green jar on the table. I always found it sweet, that girl called Lily who loved daffodils.

Anyway, I was reminded of those mornings on this one, because all the tea I have left at the moment is camomile, and Lily's guitar in my hands. I miss that little kitchen, half-Muggle and half not, and Harry at our feet. He's grown now, leaving school, fine figure of a man that he is, and those days seem more far away than they ever have before. And here I am, back in Hogwarts, an old man with my old man, forgiven and forgotten and the summer stretching on ahead, full and long days.

And somewhere else, Lily's in her garden, tending her daffodils and singing her songs to herself. Though, I will always be listening for her.

Sirius, I was thinking that perhaps we should spend the summer in Amsterdam. Harry, what do you think? I have always wanted to show you the Jordaan. It's my favourite neighbourhood in the city. I think you'd both enjoy it.

The tea is nearly gone and the embers are dying. I think it is time for me to go and find the day.

Comments

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

Yes, as for the rest of us, the day has already found us, whether we wanted it to or not.

[lupercusna]

Sorry, I should have been more sensitive to those of you still slogging through your exams.

Feel free to tell me to feck off, or something.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

And bite the hand that is feeding me temporary lodging in Chelsea? Not bloody likely. And did you see who I'm flat-hunting with?

Anyway, I have three written exams done and two more this afternoon and I did put some lions at the top of my DADA essay, so thank you for the tip.

[lupercusna]

I did see. And how is that going for you?

Sirius also responds to bribery. I suggest biscuits. He likes shortbread ones.

Or maybe I do. Either way, it's a good idea.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

I think it is going well. Does it appear to be going well? I'm not saying, of course, that the appearance counts for more than the reality; I was just wondering.

Why, do you want biscuits? We could have lunch perhaps. Or what have you. I think I'm too nervous to have much more than tea at any rate.

[lupercusna]

If you say that it is going well, then it is indeed going well. Best of luck to you, my dear boy. You've quite earned it.

And if you'd like, perhaps tea after dinner tonight? Sirius is completely useless what with all the exam-giving, and Harry's head is like to fall off shortly, so I could do with some decent, functional company.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

Well, it's thanks to you, really, so you deserve a present at some point. Though I will cling to irresponsible schoolboyhood while I still can and put off getting it for you.

And anyway so have you. Earned it, I mean.

After dinner tonight would be lovely, though I'm not entirely sure how functional I will be. Though, perhaps I will just have relief that the written exams are over.

[lupercusna]

You have already given me more than I ever deserved, my boy.

Well, perhaps something stronger than tea. Celebratory. I'll see what's left in our stores - Sirius has been needing the old Dutch courage as of late. He really hates giving exams.

Be well, Seamus. Let life come to you.

[jadedsirius.livejournal.com]

For the record, Moony, you never have to ask me if I want to go to Amsterdam with you.

Sounds like a very good idea, in any case. We shall leave immediately, as soon as these shagging fecking bloody exams are finished.

You didn't drink all the camomile, did you? I'm rather fond of it, and if you did drink it all I shall be very cross.

[lupercusna]

I should have known you'd be up for it. You're going to spend the entire time floating about six feet off the ground, aren't you? Like last time?

And I did drink all the camomile. Sorry about that.

[jadedsirius.livejournal.com]

I shall take it out of your hide, later.

[lupercusna]

I'm counting on it.

[seamus-f.livejournal.com]

None of the many people who love you will ever be able to come close to giving you everything you deserve, even if you are immortal and we have our entire lives to give it to you. I mean that.

Stronger than tea? That's the way!

I shall. Thanks.

[wheresmytoad.livejournal.com]

How about chocolate bars? Does he respond favourably to those?

Although I'm not sure I have any left, come to think of it.

[lupercusna]

Actually, chocolate makes him a touch queasy. Think it's something to do with the dog in him.

Try Sugar Quills. He's mad about them.

[wheresmytoad.livejournal.com]

Oh, excellent, I always have some of those on hand!

Seamus is right, you know, sir Professor (oh hell, I know you've told us to call us this, but it still seems strange) Remus. Thanks a lot, for everything, I mean. No offence to our present DADA teacher or anything (!) but you've been my favourite teacher at Hogwarts, and I didn't want to leave school without telling you that. Won't ever see my Gran's vulture hat again without thinking of you. (Well, Professor Snape, too, but I'd rather think of you.)

Hope you have a brilliant time in Amsterdam this summer.

[purestblood.livejournal.com]

Ah, domestic bliss. So very, very touching. I am so glad you and Sirius are reconciled. I'm sure he'll never cheat on you again. You must sleep well at night with that knowledge.

[blondenarcissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you for tea yesterday, Remus. I have a lovely time. It was good to see you again.

[lupercusna]

Someday, I will kill you.

[lupercusna]

Thank you, Narcissa. It was nice to see you as well. Thank you for the gifts, they were not necessary but most kind.

Enjoy your holidays.

[purestblood.livejournal.com]

You need some new material. Or is old age setting in? You're repeating yourself.

[just-harry.livejournal.com]

I didn't know my mum had a guitar.

I've never been to Amsterdam. What's the Jordaan?

Sorry about the drool on your desk.

[lupercusna]

No worries, love. It formed a very lovely pattern of a dragon on my desk-blotter. I shall treasure it always.

The Jordaan is a wonderful neighbourhood, very interesting and colourful. You'll love it, I promise. Just don't accept anything your dogfather offers you, whether it's to eat, drink or smoke. Trust me.

Your mum did indeed have a guitar. She taught me a few chords, and if you'd like I could teach them to you. She would have liked that, I think.

She would have liked you. Both of them. I know it.

[just-harry.livejournal.com]

I'm really tone deaf. Or I have an unmusical thumb. I don't really know what people say about that. But I think that would be neat.

Why? Are you saying Sirius would corrupt me? I can't believe that's true.

Thanks. I'd like to think they would.

[lupercusna]

You can still learn chords even if you don't think you've got the talent. Don't let anything stop you from trying something. If I had done, I wouldn't have Sirius. So if you'd like to try it, then we will give it a go. On your mum's guitar.

I would never imply such a thing. Sirius is a paragon of maturity and innocence. Certainly. Stop that sniggering, I can hear you from here.

Congratulations, Harry. You made it. I'm proud of you. We both are.

And they are too.

[just-harry.livejournal.com]

Do you have it? Do you have it here? Can you show me before dinner? Or after dinner?

I don't know how Sirius finds the patience to be so calm and mature. Maybe it's the new beard.

[lupercusna]

I have it here, and yes, I can show you.

After dinner, come find me. I'll have the guitar, and tea.

I'll be waiting for you here.

[just-harry.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[potions-master.livejournal.com]

I fondly dream of a day, Lupin, when you will no longer rise to the bait. I am, however, starting to fear that it will never come.