Jun. 23rd, 2004

lupercusna: (I'm serious.)
Madam Pince insisted on taking back the library today, perhaps so that she can harass the seventh-years one last time, so I have enjoyed a very lazy morning waking up with the sun but having a lie-in until Sirius had to get up and go give exams. After that it was a cup of tea on the stove and - for no reason at all - the guitar Lily had got me for when we left school. Somehow I've managed to hold on to it all these years, it goes with me wherever I go. I'm completely crap at it, terribly rusty, but it was nice to sit and play a bit. I still remember the old airs she taught me when we were still students, lullabies she sang to Harry when he was small. I swear, I can hear Lily's voice in the strings on this old guitar.

I have gone on a bit about James here but not so much about Lily. She was my friend first, truth be told, and she was my friend last before she died. Sirius and James weren't speaking to me by then, convinced I'd gone traitor on them, but Lily had faith. I don't know why she believed in me but she did, and I didn't question it. We took tea together on the sly, when James and Sirius were off trying to save the world. Those were good mornings of yellow sunlight in her kitchen and camomile tea, and the daffodils she insisted on always keeping in a green jar on the table. I always found it sweet, that girl called Lily who loved daffodils.

Anyway, I was reminded of those mornings on this one, because all the tea I have left at the moment is camomile, and Lily's guitar in my hands. I miss that little kitchen, half-Muggle and half not, and Harry at our feet. He's grown now, leaving school, fine figure of a man that he is, and those days seem more far away than they ever have before. And here I am, back in Hogwarts, an old man with my old man, forgiven and forgotten and the summer stretching on ahead, full and long days.

And somewhere else, Lily's in her garden, tending her daffodils and singing her songs to herself. Though, I will always be listening for her.

Sirius, I was thinking that perhaps we should spend the summer in Amsterdam. Harry, what do you think? I have always wanted to show you the Jordaan. It's my favourite neighbourhood in the city. I think you'd both enjoy it.

The tea is nearly gone and the embers are dying. I think it is time for me to go and find the day.

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Remus Lupin

June 2004

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